Not a single day passes by without you ever crossing my mind. Thoughts of you keep lingering in my head, the memories that we shared and everything that grew between us. I’ve always thought about the friendship we held and the moments where we laughed together, cried together, and were together. At that point in our lives, we never thought we would fall in love with each other. We saw our intentions and we saw the connection that was gently building up between us. It was unexpected, a love that grew out of us and bound us together to give us something special. I’ve never felt so surprised in my life but I was happy how it turned out. And when it happened, it pushed aside the distance, the pessimistic ideas that it wouldn’t work, that we couldn’t make it work. And every day I wish it stayed that way for a very long time until I could see you… until I could be with you.

But as soon as things came to an end, it was hard to see everything slip right in front of me. To see that everything we’ve built was blown away like dust on top of a surface. It was painful to feel the emotions slowly fade and to feel my heart slowly beating until it could barely do so. But as days passed by, I fully regained who I was, I regained everything I thought I’ve lost forever. And now it’s been a while since I’ve held an actual conversation with you. In so far, I’ve been okay. Not totally fine, just okay.

Looking back, we’ve really changed no matter how much we don’t realize it. Our past helped strengthen us and developed us into something we never thought we’d become. I’m just so glad I was given the chance to meet you, get to know you, and fall in love with you. Without all of this, I never would have realized how much I learned from you and myself. I never thought I would see this other side of me and the changes I’ve made to myself. Everything we’ve been through was a learning process with all the good and bad that went with it. It was truly an experience that no one will ever know but you and me.

So, for all you’ve done and for everything else, I just wanna say thank you. I’m forever grateful and because of that, you will always be in my heart no matter what.

Last night I bawled my eyes out. The thought that she’s no longer mine kept lingering on inside my head, the thought that someone else would call her “mine” was too much to take in, and the thought that what we had will now be mere memories.

I thought I couldn’t sleep but I managed to. I, of course, only slept for less than 2hrs and to think it was already around 6 o’clock in the morning. I went outside to get some water. I saw my mom at the kitchen table eating breakfast.

“Well, aren’t you a little early today?”

“Oh.. I was just about to get some water.”

“Are you okay?” she asked. But I couldn’t say anything. I just stared right through her and I guess she noticed. She came up to me and gave me a hug. And unexpectedly, I started crying..

So she hugged me tighter.

She walked me back to my room and then sat beside me.

“What’s wrong, Jeff?” Her soft, calm voice broke the silence. 

“Nothing, Mom..”

“I know you’ve been crying. I saw you the other night when I was about to enter your room—”

“We broke up,” I told her out of nowhere.

“It hurts me to see you like this,” she said as she hugged me. And then there was silence for a while.

“Do you remember when you were little you broke that flower vase in our living room?”

“I did..? Oh.. Yeah, I do remember.”

“You were so scared for me to find out about it so you hid yourself behind the door and cried the whole time.”

“Haha.. Yeah.”

“And when I saw you, you began to cry harder. You thought I would scold you when in fact I was worried—that something broken might hurt you.”

“I don’t want anything to hurt you, ” she added.

I couldn’t speak at all. It was like my throat was closing up, leaving me with just sniffs and sighs.

“I may not know a lot about situations like this but I do know that you’re a strong person—you’ll get through this. Oh, if only your father was here…”

“Dad?” I chuckled a bit. “He’s with another family, Mom..”

“I know.. But he’s still your father and at times like this you need him the most.”

Well, she was right. But I couldn’t just phone up my dad early in the morning to talk about my love problems.

“Mom, why did you agree to end your marriage with Dad?”

She was caught off guard but she kept her composure and tried to answer me as honestly as she could.

“It was for the best. What your father and I had wasn’t good for us anymore. Nor was it good for you and Julia (my sister).”

”.. But growing up separately is?”

Again, she was caught off guard but this time she couldn’t give me answer.

“I’m sorry for bringing this up, Mom..”

“It’s okay.”

“But you still love him, right? Why..?”

“Because I vowed to love him till death do us part in front of God,” she answered with a delightful smile that lit up her face like an angel.

She told me to catch up on my sleep or just to take a nap ‘cause she’ll prepare our breakfast. But before she left my room, she told me a thing or two about relationships and it went something like this:

“Relationships should be like marriage—we should only commit to it if we’re ready. Not when we think we’re ready but when we know we are. Because it’s like promising someone you will be there for them today, tomorrow and the days to come. You may not love them everyday through and through but at least you’re there for them no matter what. To love is to sacrifice. To love is to give without expecting anything to be given to you in return. You love because you love. But love is not selfish so don’t forget to think about the other person. It’s not always about you or your feelings.”

Minsan mahirap na ikaw lang ang nagkakagusto sa isang tao. Kasi kahit ilang beses mong i-convince ang sarili mo hindi mo siya gusto, sarili mo lang ang niloloko mo. Lahat ng parte ng katawan mo kinokontra ka. Kahit may isang milyon kang dahilan kung bakit hindi siya posibleng magkagusto sayo, may isang milyon at kalahati ka namang tanong kung bakit hindi pwede. At kahit alam mong may gusto na siyang iba, hindi mo mapigil ang sarili mong umasa na sana ikaw na lang ‘yung nasa posisyon nung taong ‘yun. Ang swerte.. Ang saya niya siguro sa piling ng taong gusto mo. Pero ang hirap. Ang hirap maging masaya para sa kanila habang ikaw, nag-aantay pa rin na mapansin man lang niya. Isang tingin lang.. Isang ngiti lang, okay ka na. Tapos malalaman mo na lang bigla na sila na pala. Syempre masakit ‘yun. Pero kahit papaano, masaya ka na rin para sa taong gusto mo, dahil nakuha na niya ‘yung gusto niya. Ang problema, hindi nga lang ikaw ‘yun. Pero ayos lang, masaya naman siya. Ang hirap lang talaga na ikaw lang ‘yung nagkakagusto sa isang tao na hindi ka naman gusto.

Minsan mahirap din na ikaw ang gusto ng isang tao na hindi mo naman gusto. Mahirap din isipin na may taong nagkakagusto sayo. Pakiramdam mo hindi ka deserving ng ganung klase ng atensyon. Mahirap ang ganitong sitwasyon kasi ang unfair, na masaya ka sa piling ng iba habang nakikita mo siyang patingin-tingin lang sayo sa malayo. Hindi makalapit, hindi mapakali, hindi makatingin nang maayos. Mahirap na ikaw ‘yung gusto ng isang tao na hindi mo naman gusto kasi alam mong nasasaktan siya pero wala ka namang magagawa. Gusto mo siyang ngitian, lapitan at maging kaibigan pero ayaw mo namang ma-misinterpret niya ang mga ginagawa mo. Mahirap ang mapunta sa ganitong posisyon, kasi alam mo kung ano ang pakiramdam nang magkagusto sa isang tao na hindi ka rin naman gusto. Ang mas masakit e ikaw na mismo ‘yung gumagawa nito sa ibang tao. Ang hirap lang talaga na ikaw ‘yung gusto ng taong hindi mo naman gusto.

Minsan ikaw ‘yung may gusto pero hindi ka naman gusto. Minsan din naman ikaw ‘yung gusto pero hindi mo naman gusto. Pero anong magagawa mo diba? Ganun lang talaga ang takbo ng mundo, hindi lahat ng gusto mo mapapasayo.

Someone broke up with you.
Someone stole your money.
Someone bullied you online.
Someone made you smile.
Someone wrote you a letter.
Someone gave you an advice.
Someone taught you something new.
Someone made you fall in love again.

I have always been fascinated how it only takes one person to change your entire life. One person can lift you up from hitting rock bottom and can also tear you down. It’s amazing how one person can affect your life in several ways, how one person can save your life and how one can easily take it away from you in just a snap. What’s even more amazing is how much we allow that one person to become part of our lives.

Think about someone. Now imagine what your life might have turned out to be if you hadn’t met that person. There could be a whole lot of possibilities, but one thing is for sure, your life would be different. Totally different from what it is now. Because one person can change how you’re feeling, one person can change your mind and the way you see things. Everyday you meet and encounter all sorts of people, and some of them have contributed to who you are today. Each of them did something different for you in one way or another, for better or for worse.

And as we all go through tough times, a simple smile or a hug from someone can lighten up our mood. The best thing about it is you can be that someone, you can be the ‘one’.

Kapag in a relationship, nilalagyan ng “✓”. Pero kapag nagkahiwalayan na, nagiging “x” si ex na tila ba ay isang malaking kamalian.

Kung ibabase natin sa isang exam, paano ba nagkakaroon ng kamalian?

• Kapag nagchcheat, diba? Pwede.
• Kapag hindi pinag-iisipan nang maayos ang sagot
• Kapag tama na ‘yung una mong sagot tapos pinalitan mo pa
• Kapag tingin mo natagpuan mo na ang “right” one answer
• Kapag nagpachaba-chama lang
• Kapag nagpadalos-dalos ka

Marami pang ibang dahilan kung bakit humahantong sa ganyan, kung bakit parang nagiging isang kamalian ang ex mo. Kapag nagkakaroon ka ng mistake sa test, nasasayangan ka, nagagalit, nalulungkot, na-ffrustrate. Pero ang kinaganda lang nyan ay may natututunan ka, may napupulot kang aral. At ‘yung aral na ‘yun, maari mong gamitin kapag nabigyan ka ng isa pang pagkakataon, kumbaga sa exam, may removal o retake. Minsan ‘yung dating nagbigay ng pasulit ang magiging proctor mo ulit. Minsan din bago. Pero madalas ganun pa rin ang mga tanong kaso nga lang may kaunting pinagkaiba na. Nasa sayo na ‘yan kung ‘yung dating sagot mo pa rin ang pipiliin mo. Tandaan mo na ang taong tanga, ginagawa ang isang bagay ng paulit-ulit habang nag-aabang ng bagong resulta. 

Hindi ka naman siguro tanga, diba?

Do you ever get that feeling where you’ve been longing to do something? Like you have these ideas planned out in your head and when the time comes you tell yourself you’re going to do it. But in reality, when that time comes you freeze, don’t know what to do, blank out and the chance is gone. Telling yourself there’s always next time, or it’s alright it was stupid anyways. Thoughts are trying to comfort that head of yours about what just happened. Thinking of all the possibilities and outcomes if you did do it. These are actually the moments and chances that should have been taken. For better or worse, what’s there to lose really? We all make fools of ourselves some point in our lives more than others. The point is, you went for it and didn’t step back to let it pass you by. That’s the thing about life, too — things pass us by and if you want something to stay, then you have to make an effort and hold on to it. We never really know when we’ll get that same chance again. Just think of them as opportunities which can lead to so much more. For some it’s not quite that easy as we have our comfort zones and, well, there’s nothing wrong with that. Just imagine how many doors will be open and possibilities there are. Even if you grasp that opportunity and it ends up in failure, doesn’t mean you should give up.. instead you should learn from it and move on.

• Ang unang tao ay ang sarili mo;
• pangalawa, ‘yung taong pinakamamahal mo;
• pangatlo, ‘yung taong pinakamamahal ka;
• at ang pang-apat, ‘yung taong makakasama mo habambuhay

Sa buhay, una mong makikilala ‘yung taong pinakamamahalin mo. Sa kanya mo matutunan kung paano umibig at kung anong pakiramdam nito. Matutunan mo sa kanya ang mga bagay na ‘yun upang mahanap mo ‘yung taong pinakamamahalin ka. Sa kanya mo naman mararanasan ang pakiramdam ng umiibig at iniibig ng pabalik, at dun mo malalaman kung ano talaga ang tunay mong kailangan. Tsaka mo makikilala ‘yung taong magbibigay sa’yo ng mga pangangailangang ‘yun, at siya ang makakasama mo sa panghabang-buhay.

Ang nakakalungkot lang dito ay ‘yung tatlong ‘yun, hindi iisang tao. Tunay nga kasing mapagbiro ang tadhana; ‘yung taong pinakamamahal mo, hindi ka mahal; ‘yung taong pinakamamahal ka ay hindi ang siyang pinakamamahal mo; at ang taong makakasama mo habang-buhay ay hindi rin ang siyang pinakamamahal mo — sadyang siya lang talaga ‘yung taong nakilala mo sa tamang panahon, lugar at pagkakataon.

Sino ka naman kaya sa buhay ng ibang tao? 

Walang tao ang sinasadyang magbago ang nararamdaman. Kapag mahal ka ng isang tao, mahal ka talaga niya. Kapag hindi ka na niya mahal, hindi ka na niya talaga mahal. Ganun ka-simple. Kasi kapag mahal ka niya, hindi siya maaring magkunwaring hindi ka niya mahal. Ganun lang din ‘yun kapag hindi ka na niya mahal, hindi siya pwedeng magkunwaring mahal ka pa niya.

Kapag hindi ka na mahal ng isang tao at gusto ka na niyang iwan, tanungin mo ang sarili mo kung mahal mo pa ba siya. Kung sakali man na hindi mo na rin siya mahal, huwag mo na siyang pahirapan pa at pakawalan mo na. Pero kung mahal mo pa, pakawalan mo pa rin para mahanap niya ‘yung tunay na magpapasaya sa kanya, hindi ‘yung pipigilan mo siya. Kung pipigilan mo siya para mahanap niya ‘yung tunay na magpapaligaya sa kanya, ibig sabihin lang nun na hindi mo talaga siya mahal. At kung hindi mo siya tunay na mahal, anong karapatan mo para pigilan siya?

Have you ever looked at a stranger and wondered how it would feel like to be in their shoes? Well, I do. Most of the time when I feel down, I often find myself staring into space and when I see someone pass by, I immediately do this thing where I’m picturing myself living their life. And then I’d asked myself, “Am I happy?”

There are billions of people in the world. Most of them are suffering, some of them just have enough for themselves and only a few are living their life to the fullest. If I were to trade places with someone, let’s say, like a crippled old man on the streets. I wouldn’t probably survive for a week or two. How about a kid living in the slums? I would probably be digging my own meal inside a garbage can by now. Back in my normal life, I could skip meals whenever I wanted to. But in this sort of living, I’m forced to skip my meals. Whether I like to or not.

I know my thoughts are a bit jumbled up, but point is, some people have it worse than you. If you think you’re going through a hard time right now, think about those people who go through hardships all the time. I know it’s wrong to feel better about yourself because of other people’s misery. It’s just that sometimes you can’t help but compare what you have from what others don’t. Yet I realized that that’s not how happiness works. Happiness is not about being grateful for what you have that others don’t, but rather just being thankful for what you have. And that’s just it, because there is no need for comparisons.

I’m no computer geek but I like to experiment and explore the features of my stuff, especially my laptop. When I first posted a screenshot of my desktop on Facebook, my friends asked how I made into such. Now, I’ll try my best to make a crappy “tutorial” on how to customize your own Windows 7 (Starter, Home Basic, etc).

Some editions of Windows don’t allow users to change their background and theme, like what I’m using which is a Windows 7 Starter. But if there’s a will, there’s a way, right?

1. BACKGROUND/WALLPAPER. My friend, Ysh, told me about this application that can change the default background wallpaper of my desktop. It’s called “Oceanis.”

• Download the application here: LINK
• Save and open the file
• You may have to restart your PC
• Search the file on your Start Menu
• Click the icon
• Choose the image you want to use
• And voila!

2. DOCKLET. I simply stumbled upon this one while I was looking for porn stuff. The app is called “RocketDock.”

• Download the application here: LINK
• Save and open the file
• Search and run the application
• For additional customization: ADD-ONS

Remember when downloading add-ons, make sure to save the files in their respective folders (see photo below)

After saving the add-ons, hover your mouse on the docklet and right click on it:

Once you click on that, something like this will appear:

That is only for the icons. For the other features of the docklet, like changing your docklet’s skin, size and position, etc. click on “Dock Settings.”  I will no longer expound on that cos it all depends on your preference.

3. SIDEBAR GADGETS. This, by far, is probably the easiest to set up. You just simply look for free gadgets online and install them. Here’s a list of the sites I use to download my desktop’s gadgets:

• Windows Microsoft
• DeviantArt
• Thoosje
• Or there’s always Google

4. WINDOWS MEDIA PLAYER. For my WMP, I’m currently using the “Alienware Invader” which is free to download here: LINK. If you don’t fancy that, there are still other styles you might want to check out here: 

• Windows Microsoft
• Customize (BETA)
• Again, there’s always Google

5. VLC MEDIA PLAYER. You can find everything you need to know about how to customize your VLC Player in their site: VideoLAN

6. TUMBLR DASHBOAD. Most of you probably know how to change and spice up your dashboard, but for those who still don’t, well, I’m your saving grace. Hahaha kidd. 

• Userstyles -  This site has the largest collection of themes for sites like TUMBLR, Facebook, YouTube, etc. When using the themes, you either install them with Stylish (extension) or its JavaScript file. 
• Stylish for Chrome
• Stylish for Mozilla
• XKIT - Let’s you reblog your own posts, add tags on TAs, allows you to reply on the replies, etc.
• Missing-e - Another great extension that works just like XKIT

Someday I’m going to meet someone who will turn my whole world upside down, someone who will take my breath away. She will be special to me and I will do anything just so I can get to know her better. Someday I will ask her out to grab a cup of coffee. Days later we’ll go out on a few more dates. I will take her to places she has never been before and we’ll have loads of fun together. And someday, I’ll ask her to be my girlfriend. I’ll ask her in a way she’ll never forget for the rest of her life. She will say yes and I will be the happiest guy on Earth.

Someday I’m going to do absolutely everything to make her feel special and loved. Not just on Valentine’s Days, on our anniversary or on her birthday, but every single day. I’ll go out of my way to make her happy. Someday I’ll give her flowers just because it’s Tuesday. I’ll show off to the world how lucky I am to be hers. Someday I’ll take her to meet my parents and they will love her. Someday she’ll also take me to meet her parents and hopefully they will like me, too.

Someday I’m going to fall more in love with her and it will be like that forever. Someday I will go down on one knee and propose to her. I’ll tell her exactly how I feel, her heart will melt and she will say yes. Someday she and I will become.. WE. Someday we’ll be spending the rest of our lives together — building a beautiful home for our future children, travelling around the world and loving each other endlessly. Someday we’ll have the most beautiful kids. They will have my eyes and her gorgeous smile. They will look up to her and she will be a great mother.

Someday we’re going to have good days and we’ll be there for each other but more importantly, we’ll be there for the bed bad times. We’ll be there for one another when we’re at our worst to bring each other up and to remind each other that we’re the best. Some days will be hard. Most days will be bad. We’ll even be on the brink of falling apart, but we’ll pull through. I will be her headache and she will be my pain in the ass, but we will love each other in spite of that. We’ll fuss and fight during the day but we’ll be fighting for each other most of the time. We will remind each other why we fell in love in the first place and why we’re going to last. We won’t let anything come between us because we know that nothing can break a love like ours.

And someday we’ll both retire from our jobs and live somewhere far from the city. Some place with a great view. We’ll spend each night and every waking moment in each other’s arms. Even when her hair turns gray and my hair is all gone, I will love her just the same. We will spend the rest of our lives together and we’ll be like one those cute couples who struggle crossing the street, but we’ll cross the street together. Someday I’ll be the 80-year-old guy who takes the bus to the flower shop to buy her some flowers because that day will be a Tuesday. We’ll spend each day like it’s our last, and at the end of it all, we will be happy. Even if one of us passes, we will accept it. We will never have regrets because we will have spent as much time as we possibly could with each other. We will never really be apart for our memories will linger on.

Someday I’m going to live a full life like that. But until then, I will live for today and continue hoping that I will find her and that she will be mine.. someday.

In a way it fascinates me how some people can be so dumb. How some of you take things here seriously. Giving crappy comments and nasty opinions about certain things and people when in fact nothing has to be said. Acting all tough and hard online. And then the list goes on.

People are constantly saying that this site has changed. Well, has it ever come to you that all along it was YOU who changed and not this site? The only difference of this site now from what it used to be is the layout and a couple of new features from time to time. Other than that, it’s still pretty much the same old site, regardless.

Sometimes I feel like the community here creates this illusion, an image of what Tumblr “should be”. When in reality, this is just a blogging site and there’s nothing more to it. There are no policies or agreements of being “accepted” and “feeling special” or whatever else you have to say. Everyone has a different use for this site so complain as much as you want but if you really can’t handle this site, then leave or better yet, grow up.

Noong may mga nagtanong sa akin kung paano magmove on, ang dali kong makapagbigay ng advice sa kanila. Pero nung ako na ang nasa sitwasyon nila, putangina! Nakakabobo lang. Hindi ko alam kung paano magsimula.

Sa natatandaan ko, may tatlong basic “rules” akong binigay sa kanila:

• Stop asking HOW to move on and start finding the reason WHY
• Let go of the hurt and cherish the memories
• Move forward

Ano ba ang reason kung bakit dapat na akong magmove on? For one, ‘yung sinabi niya sa akin na ayaw na niya. Sinubukan kong baguhin ‘yung isip niya pero wala na akong nagawa. Buo na ang kanyang desisyon. Handa na siyang kalimutan ako. Handa na siyang talikuran ang anumang namamagitan sa amin.

Let go of the hurt and cherish the memories? Wow, I just realized how stupid that advice was. All I feel right now is pain and regret. If I had to let go of what I’m feeling right now, I will be left with nothing.. I will be nothing. But since I still have those, I guess I’m just heartbroken. Not empty.

Move forward? Well, I don’t want to. What I want is for my past to be my present and hopefully be my future.

Paano ka ba daw makakapagmove on kung lingon ka ng lingon sa nakaraan? Siguro ganito lang ‘yan.. Nasubukan mo na bang maglaro ng Angry Birds? Of course, you have. Siguro umabot ka na sa isang level ng laro kung saan hirap na hirap kang i-three stars ‘yung score diba? Minsan ‘yung iba sapat na sa kanila ‘yung ma-clear ‘yung mga obstacles para makapagproceed sa next stage. May iba din na napipikon at hindi na sinusubukang i-unlock ‘yung ibang stages ng laro. Pero may iba namang hindi alintana sa kanila ang paulit-ulit na pagbalik sa previous level(s) para galingan ng husto at makapuntos ng maayos kesa dun sa nauna nilang score. Ganun ako. Wala akong pakialam kung babalik ako sa simula basta lahat ng mali ko noon ay pwede ko pang maitama.

Madaling magbigay ng advice sa iba kasi we see their problems objectively. Pero kapag tayo na ang nandun sa sitwasyon nila, nag-iiba na ang tingin natin sa problema. Nagiging subjective na tayo at kinokonsider na natin ang mga emosyon natin. Hindi lang kasi puro utak ginagamit diyan, kundi pati na rin damdamin.

Noong bata pa lang ako nasanay na akong magdala lagi ng bola tuwing pupunta kami sa beach.

Isang beses nun, sa hindi inaasahang pagkakataon, gumulong ‘yung bola ko sa dagat at tinangay ng mga alon. Sa takot kong maanod ito papalayo, tinangka kong habulin ‘yung bola ko. Kaso sa tuwing lumalapit na ako, mas lumalayo ito. Mga ilang oras ko din hinabol ng hinabol ‘yung bola. Panay na ‘yung tulo ng pawis ko nun at sumasakit na ‘yung dalawa kong paa dahil sa mga batong naapakan ko sa ilalim ng tubig. Pinilit ko pa ring habulin pero ganun lang din ang nangyayari.

Nilapitan ako ng daddy ko nun at sinabi niya sa akin na huwag ko na daw habulin ‘yung bola at antayin ko na lang daw na ianod ‘yun pabalik sa dalampasigan. Sa isip ko nun, parang imposible na mangyari ‘yun kasi ang lakas ng mga alon. Pero dahil sa pagod na ako, sinunod ko na lang ‘yung sinabi ni Daddy.

Umupo kami sa buhangin at inantay ‘yung bola kong bumalik. Mga ilang minuto ang nakalipas ay nakita ko nang inaanod pabalik ‘yung bola ko. Tama nga ‘yung sinabi ng dad ko. Nagkatinginan lang kaming dalawa tapos nag-unahang kunin ‘yung bola.

Sadya talagang may mga bagay na hindi mo dapat habulin at pag-aksayahan ng panahon. Hayaan mo na lang itong kusang bumalik sayo o mapasaiyo. Kung hindi ka man palarin, at least hindi ka napagod at nag-aksaya ng oras sa kahahabul sa isang bagay na ayaw naman lumapit sa iyo.

Bago mo ako salungatin, hayaan mo muna akong magpahayag ng mga opinyon ko tungkol sa isyu na ‘to.

Noong isang linggo, bigla na lang may kumalat na viral video tungkol kay Joseph Kony at tungkol sa mga batang inabduct niya. Aaminin ko, wala akong pakialam nun sa kanya. Hindi ko naman kasi kilala ‘yang Kony na sinasabi nila. “Sinong Korny? Guest ba ‘yan sa Showtime?” Oo, “Korny” unang pagkabasa ko diyan. Akala ko tuloy kung sinong komedyante ‘yun. Tanga ko lang, grabe.

Kaya para mabawasan ang katangahan ko nun at para hindi ako ma-left out sa “trending”, naghanap ako sa internet ng tungkol sa kanya. Unang lumabas ‘yung video ng Invisible Children sa YouTube. Papanuorin ko na sana ‘yun kaso nung tinignan ko ‘yung duration ng video, halos kalahating oras pala. Hindi ko na lang tinuloy pero naki-Kony 2012 na rin ako since maganda naman pala ang pakay ng mga taong gumawa nun. I reblogged a GIF post na galing sa video na ‘yun (para kunyare nakiki-support ako sa cause) pero binura ko na.

Mga ilang araw lang ang nakalipas, napalitan na ‘yung Kony 2012 posts ng mga tao. Which somewhat disappointed me. Naisip ko na, kung seryoso talaga ang mga taong ‘tong pasikatin siya, then why did they all stop doing so? Nagtaka talaga ako, partly sa sincerity ng mga tao. Or maybe it was just me. Anyway, na-curious ulit ako sa nilalaman ng video na ‘yun. So para iwas hassle sa paglo-loading, dinownload ko ang mismong video.

When I was watching the video, I couldn’t help but admire how it was skillfully made. ‘Yung editing, scoring and all. Tsaka ‘yung anak lang talaga ni Jason Russell ang inaabangan ko towards the end of that short film. For some reason, I found myself getting teary-eyed nung ininterview si Jacob. ‘Yung part na sinabi niyang mas gusto na lang niyang mamatay kesa mabuhay. Kasi at least pag namatay siya, makakasama pa niya ‘yung kapatid niyang pinatay ng mga rebelde. Konti na lang siguro at tutulo na luha ko sa part na ‘yun. Eventually natapos ko rin naman ‘yung video pero imbes na mas tumibay pa ‘yung “support” ko sa campaign ng Invisible Children parang naging baliktad yata. Naging suspicious kasi ako sa motives ng mga founders nun.

My suspicions led to curiosity. My curiosity led to questions. My questions led to research. And so I did. I read stuff and articles about Kony 2012. Shockingly enough, I wasn’t the only one who’s against all this hype.

Going back to the title of this post, how does this campaign create more harm than good?

Well, sabi dun sa isang post na nabasa ko, ang problemang ‘yan ay natigil na 6 years ago sa Uganda. Nakauwi na rin ‘yung mga batang kinidnap ni Kony noon sa mga pamilya nila. Although hanggang ngayon e hindi pa rin nahuhuli si Kony, which just leads to the concern that making him famous will only alarm him. It will just lead him to upsize his protection by increasing his army. And with that I mean the number of children he’ll abduct to train as his soldiers who’ll fight for him. This campaign aims to seek out more military help to capture him. So, ano na lang ang mangyayari kapag natuloy nga itong pinaplano nila? Sa tingin ko hindi naman agad susuko si Joseph Kony sa mga militar without putting up a fight. Malamang din makikipagbakbakan ang mga nabrainwash niyang mga bata para ipaglaban siya. So don’t you see the irony? If you don’t, then go ahead, shoot Kony! And wait, the kids, too? Or just avoid hitting them with your bullets, huh? Is that it? Is that the plan? You can’t achieve peace if you’re holding a gun.

Sa tingin ko hindi naman talaga kailangan ng ganito eh, kasi wala ka namang mababasa o mahahanap na sinabi ni Pres. Barack Obama na ipu-pull out niya ‘yung mga sundalo sa Africa. Kung may mahanap ka, then shall I support a cause like this one. But if you can’t, then here’s a simple thought to think about: This campaign aims to help send more US troops to capture Kony with the chances of killing the kids they were trying to save in the first place. This is like some propaganda by some skilled filmmakers who just want to earn money by commercializing poverty to sell crap and by your donations while you feel good about yourself for doing your social duties to those who are in need.

Don’t get me wrong, I want that sick bastard captured as much as you do. Siguro ang problema lang is ‘yung paano nila ginagawa ang campaign na ‘to at kung paano nila ito isasagawa.

Also take note that the video was made way back in 2003. The killings and abductions have stopped way back in 2006. How come they’re only taking action now? And how come they’re only shedding a light on that issue when there are far more dangerous people out there now, at this day and age, that we aren’t concern about? We have been distracted because we’re only focusing on Kony. We’re only talking about Kony. Why do they wanna send US troops to Africa so badly? Because Africa is rich with oil, with other minerals. That’s what this is all about. The money and the resources.

At ikaw naman, huwag ka agad nagpapapaniwala sa mga kung anu-anong kumakalat sa internet. Hindi porket maraming hits ‘yung isang viral video tungkol sa isang isyu e totoo na agad ito at paniniwalaan mo. Minsan kelangan mo maging skeptic  Huwag ka laging sabay sa uso. Besides, how can you sincerely support something that you clearly have no idea about? Better get your facts straight before you go on sharing it to other people. Cos if you don’t, you’re only making them more ignorant than you already are. This would really be appropriate for those celebrities the IC are trying to get involved with their cause. Kawawa naman ang mga artistang ‘yun kung sakalaing papayag sila. Pero mas kawawa ‘yung mga taong makukumbinse ng mga artistang ‘yun.

In a way nakakalungkot din ito eh. Kung iisipin mo, mas mabuti pa ‘yang mga isyung ganyan na pasulput-sulpot lang e inaaksyunan mo samantalang ang mga sariling isyu ng bayan mo na pilit pinapaintindi sayo ng kapwa mo Pilipino e isinasawalangbahala mo at ipinagpapaubuya mo lang lahat sa gobyerno.. na siya naman sa huli ay laging nasisisi mo.

I apologize for my other errors in writing this. Sorry din kung Taglish. I just couldn’t speak straight Tagalog, especially when there are a lot of thing going on in my head. Again, I’m sorry. I just sat and wrote down my thoughts without having the time to organize them or to proofread. But I do hope you were able to absorb the message I was tying to convey through this post.

By the way, try watching these videos:

• video link 1
• video link 2

The top comment on the first video goes like: “Jason Russel, the producer of KONY 2012 video got arrested for public masturbation and vandalism.”

What a creepy piece of sh—