• Ako: Pick-up line tayo.
• Siya: Sige!
• Ako: Pangit ka ba?
• Siya: Bakit?
• Ako: Hindi mo alam? Hahaha! Joke lang, eto na talaga. Pangit ka ba?
• Siya: Ayusin mo yan! O bakit?
• Ako: Nakalimutan mo agad? Hahahaha! De joke lang, eto na talaga. Promise.
• Siya: Ayoko na.
• Ako: Hindi. Last na talaga. Pangit ka ba?
• Siya: Bakit?
• Ako: Ni-reremind ko lang. Hahahaha!

CLINGY COUPLE
• *** Call to Kaye Feliciano, duration 01: 04:58. ***
• Ethan Laurente: Why’d you drop the call?!?!?!?! :((
• Ethan Laurente: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
• Kaye Feliciano: HAHAHAHAHA
• Kaye Feliciano: I need to let you go..
• Ethan Laurente: :(
• Kaye Feliciano: Be safe baby ha
• Ethan Laurente: You don’t love me anymore?
• Kaye Feliciano: I love you
• Kaye Feliciano: I do
• Kaye Feliciano: But someone else needs you now
• Ethan Laurente: “If you love someone, you have to set them free”?
• Ethan Laurente: :(
• Kaye Feliciano: Come home to me soon, okay?
• Ethan Laurente: I’m always home with you <3
• Kaye Feliciano: Cos loving is not owning
• Kaye Feliciano: But you’re still mine tho
• Kaye Feliciano: HAHAHAHA
• Ethan Laurente: I WANT YOU TO OWN MEEEEEEEH
• Ethan Laurente: =)))))))
• Kaye Feliciano: That’s what I said
• Kaye Feliciano: Read
• Kaye Feliciano: =))
• Kaye Feliciano: Babe I love you
• Ethan Laurente: Hahahahaha I just did =))
• Ethan Laurente: I love you too babe :*
• Kaye Feliciano: Sige na go na before I call you again
• Kaye Feliciano: HAHAHAHAHA
• Ethan Laurente: I’m gonna take a shower na ha? :*
• Ethan Laurente: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
• Kaye Feliciano: I’ll miss you
• Ethan Laurente: PLEASE?
• Ethan Laurente: ONE LAST TIME
• Ethan Laurente: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
• Kaye Feliciano: Really?
• Kaye Feliciano: =)))))))))))))
• Kaye Feliciano: No malelate ka na
• Ethan Laurente: Make me go
• Ethan Laurente: Force meeeeeee
• Kaye Feliciano: Cos di ko na naman yun madadrop
• Ethan Laurente: Push me away ;(
• Kaye Feliciano: But I don’t want you to go :(
• Kaye Feliciano: I can’t
• Kaye Feliciano: :((
• Ethan Laurente: Make me stay? :D
• Kaye Feliciano: Stay with me?
• Kaye Feliciano: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
• Ethan Laurente: :">
• Ethan Laurente: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
• Kaye Feliciano: That’s what I typed
• Ethan Laurente: WE ARE SO CLINGY OMFG
• Kaye Feliciano: LOL
• Ethan Laurente: =)))))))))))
• Kaye Feliciano: I know cos I love you <3
• Kaye Feliciano: Being with you >>>
• Ethan Laurente: I love you too, more than ever :*****
• Kaye Feliciano: Spending time with you >>>
• Kaye Feliciano: Talking to you >>>
• Ethan Laurente: Awwwww now I don’t really wanna go
• Ethan Laurente: Ever
• Ethan Laurente: :))))))))))))
• Kaye Feliciano: Hearing your voice >>>
• Kaye Feliciano: HAHAHAHAHA
• Kaye Feliciano: Sige na, go na, love. I’ll control myself na
• Ethan Laurente: Baby, 8PM na halos
• Ethan Laurente: HAHAHAHAHA
• Kaye Feliciano: :))
• Ethan Laurente: =))))))))))
• Kaye Feliciano: I know. That’s why I told you to go na even though I don’t want to :))
• Ethan Laurente: I just saw my phone, love. 15 missed calls from Mom and 11 messages. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
• Kaye Feliciano: Oh no =)))))
• Ethan Laurente: =))))))))))))))))))))
• Kaye Feliciano: Tell her sorry from me :)))
• Ethan Laurente: Must I go? :(
• Ethan Laurente: I can’t stop being clingy.
• Kaye Feliciano: Yea cos mapapagalitan ka, baby eh
• Ethan Laurente: My girlfriend is so irresistible eh :(
• Kaye Feliciano: So is my boyfriend :(
• Ethan Laurente: I’m torn :(
• Kaye Feliciano: But really.. Mapapagalitan ka, hun
• Kaye Feliciano: I’m contradicting myself HAHAHAHA
• Kaye Feliciano: Wanting you to stay but asking you to go :))
• Ethan Laurente: Haaahahahahahahaha =)) Ano ba talaga baby?
• Ethan Laurente: Let’s vote?
• Ethan Laurente: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
• Kaye Feliciano: HAHAHAHAHAHAH
• Ethan Laurente: Yes or No?
• Kaye Feliciano: Eh your mom’s gonna be mad tho
• Kaye Feliciano: She’s calling you na pala
• Kaye Feliciano: YEO
• Kaye Feliciano: HAHAHAHAHAHA
• Ethan Laurente: YEO
• Kaye Feliciano: :(
• Kaye Feliciano: =))))))))
• Ethan Laurente: =)))))))))))))))
• Kaye Feliciano: HAHAHAHAHAHA
• Ethan Laurente: HAHAHAHAHA GAHD I LOVE YOU
• Kaye Feliciano: Did you type that after you read my msg or were you typing na din at the same time?
• Kaye Feliciano: =))
• Kaye Feliciano: I love you too, babe
• Ethan Laurente: Hahahahaha nah, I just saw what you typed and I thought it was funny so I retyped it =))))))))
• Kaye Feliciano: HAHAHAHAHAHA
• Kaye Feliciano: :(
• Ethan Laurente: :(
• Ethan Laurente: :(
• Kaye Feliciano: I’ll miss you
• Kaye Feliciano: :(
• Kaye Feliciano: :(
• Ethan Laurente: This is so hard.
• Ethan Laurente: One of the toughest things I’ve ever faced in my entire life.
• Kaye Feliciano: Ask me to stop typing
• Ethan Laurente: I want to be with you.
• Ethan Laurente: I wanna stay.
• Ethan Laurente: Make me stay.
• Kaye Feliciano: I want to be with you too
• Ethan Laurente: Don’t push me away, please?
• Ethan Laurente: I’m begging you.
• Kaye Feliciano: I want you to stay but you need to go
• Kaye Feliciano: I can’t baby
• Kaye Feliciano: :((
• Kaye Feliciano: HAHAHAHAHA
• Ethan Laurente: =))))))))))))))
• Kaye Feliciano: But sige na. Go na
• Kaye Feliciano: Before I start begging you to stay
• Kaye Feliciano: =))))))))
• *** Ethan Laurente calls Kaye Feliciano ***

1. Don’t forget to say thank you to the teacher being assigned in your polling precinct.
2. Kapag kamukha ng ex mo, ‘wag mong iboto. JK. Pero ikaw.. boto mo ‘yan.
3. Huwag kalimutan mag-ayos bago pumunta sa polling precinct, wala lang, baka dun mo makita ‘yung true love mo.
4. Maligo, magtoothbrush at magdeodorant bago bomoto. Please lang.
5. Shade clockwise once, shade counter-clockwise twice. Wala lang, just in case bored ka.
6. Huwag matakot magtanong nang pa-cute sa mga election volunteers. Na-inform ka na, nakalandi ka pa. Sulit.
7. Siguraduhing maayos ang kuko bago i-post sa Instagram.
8. Huwag ma-tempt na mag “connect the dots” sa balota. Hindi ganun ang mechanics.
9. Maraming babae ang magtatanong kung, “Pasok na ba?” kaya ‘wag ma-offend, guys.
10. Kapag kinakabahan ka, ‘wag masyado gamitin ang “inhale-exhale” method. Baka marami ang hindi naligo.
11. Huwag maghanap ng “Birthday Party” sa mga party list. Walang ganun. Baka sa susunod na halalan pa.
12. Don’t vote wisely! (Reverse psychology. Baka mas maganda ang resulta.)

• ME: *sees little cousins using my laptop* What are you guys watching?
• COUSIN #1: Hotel Transylvania.
• ME: Oh, buti naman nakita niyo sa'n ko nilagay 'yan.
• COUSIN #2: Yeah. Nakita namin dun sa tabi ng mga porn mo, Kuya.

That half-hearted struggle to stop your relatives from giving you money.

“No no, really no, I won’t take it, please no…okay thanks.”

• person: hey baby did it hurt when you fell from heaven
• me: are you implying that i am satan

Minsan nakadepende sa laki ng baon ko ang gana kong pumasok.

• GIRL: Bakit ba sakin ka nanliligaw e marami namang ibang maganda dyan?
• BOY: Sayo pa lang nga nahihirapan na ako eh, sa maganda pa kaya?

Nahuli ni Teacher
• Teacher: Hoy, Juan! Anong sinasatsat mo kay Maria. Di ka nakikinig.
• Juan: May tinatanong lang ako, Ma'am.
• Teacher: Ba't sa kanya ka nagtatanong? Ako ang teacher. Ako tanungin mo.
• Juan: Okay, Ma'am. Will you be my girlfriend?

• COUSIN 1: Jeff! Jeff! Play Gloc 9's Sirena! Puhleaseeeeeeeeeee!
• ME: NO.
• COUSIN 1: Sige na, Jeff! Please! Sige naaaa!
• ME: NO. SHUT UP.
• COUSIN 1: Ano? SHIT UP? SHIT.. UP? Hahahahahahaha
• ME: Yeah, SHIT UP.
• COUSIN 1: No one shits up.
• ME: Astronauts, stupid.
• COUSIN 2: Please apply cold water to the burned area.

• ME: I like having intelligent conversations.
• ME: Is that why you're talking to yourself?
• ME: Yes.